Probably Will Regret This

Based on the way I'm feeling, blogging should probably be the last thing I should be doing. But, gotta get a few things off my mind.

Have you ever prayed & prayed & prayed & prayed and still not seen an answer.  

Have others mentioned doing the same and you tell them "Not in your time, but in God's time...You have to pray for God's will, not yours". 

Umm, not so easy to accept that when it's you doing the praying & the waiting.  

I'm trying not to question God, but there's something I've prayed about for years. Something that only good can come from.

I don't understand why my prayer hasn't been answered.  It only seems to be getting worse.

Well, it seems better--then worse.

Seems like it could be turning around & then NOSE DIVE

I'm truly at a loss as to what to do.  

I've prayed, believed, just haven't received--yet. 

I just wish God would show me my next step.

Show me what "I" need to do to get my prayer answered.

 My heart aches.

To most people, they probably see me & think

"She's so happy".

Umm, so often, the ones with the big smile,

are the ones who are crying the biggest tears

on the INSIDE. 

If you read this blog and pray.

Please pray for my situation.

I need someone to reach God for me...

since apparently, I've got something blocking me from reaching Him :( 
I feel like there's a wall up, blocking my prayers from even getting to Him. 

I usually try to stay positive--or at least not let my negativity or my problems show, but I'm seriously needing help--immediate help.